


Not For Honor But For Yule

by Zelda4dinner



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Christmas one shot, Gen, Kazuhira "Miser" Miller, Operation: Secret Santa, Peace Walker Era MSF, The Blonde Boy Is Under Way Too Much Stress, There's BBKaz In This Maybe If You Squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 23:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8918548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelda4dinner/pseuds/Zelda4dinner
Summary: A Christmas one shot in which Kaz learns the true meaning of Christmas.





	

Kaz strode quickly across the deck of Mother Base, on his way to an impromptu emergency meeting with the Boss. Worriedly, he wracked his brain trying to think of what it might be that Snake wanted. It had only been a few weeks since the whole Peace Walker incident, and Snake had really let him have it. He still had the bruises as a physical reminder. He thought he could smooth talk his way out of it; when he knew that feigning ignorance would never work, he decided his best bet was to remind the Boss of how much had been accomplished for MSF and how that had really been his real goal all along.  
Of course, the Boss hadn’t entirely seen things his way. “What the hell were you thinking? I told you everything you needed to know. I told you to stay the hell away from the CIA or anyone else from America who came knocking on our door. But you couldn’t just leave well enough alone, could you? You couldn’t just trust me?” Kaz wasn’t just going to take this lying down. “Wait a second, you told me that the CIA were after you but you fed me some bullshit story as to why. YOU didn’t trust ME with the truth!” There had only been two times in the two years that he had known Snake that he had ever seen him truly hurt. The first time was when Zadornov had played him the recording of the Mammal Pod, his reaction to the voice of his long-lost mentor was visceral, gut wrenching. The second time was after Kaz had revealed to him the truth- “I trusted you Kaz. After what happened two years ago, I thought- I thought I had finally found someone I could trust again. But now…”  
Kaz tried to push these thoughts out of his mind. He had to focus on the here and now. If he was going to get another lecture from Snake, he had to be prepared to answer for himself. If the Boss needed something, he had to be ready for anything. His confidence returning, he approached the door to the Command Center and knocked before entering. There before him was the intense stare of Big Boss. Kaz approached him, cautiously yet trying to maintain a cool and confident demeanor. “You wanted to see me Boss?” The end of Snake’s cigar began to glow as he took a deep drag. “Kaz, do you know what day it is?” Slightly taken aback, Kaz shrugged. “It’s December 23rd, Boss. Why?” Without taking his single, penetrating eye off his XO, Big Boss held up and pointed to a calendar. “Then you also know we have less than two days until December 25th.” Kaz shook his head. “That’s right. I don’t understand Boss, what are you getting at?” 

With a huff, Snake tapped his finger on the date. “December 25th. That’s Christmas Kaz.” Suddenly, it dawned on Kaz. While he and Snake had never exactly talked religion to one another, he knew that Big Boss had grown up in America, and therefore there was a high chance that he had been raised a Christian and believed in the religious significance of the day. The Boss must be wondering if they were going to do anything to celebrate, and with his occasional short sightedness, had completely ignored one very important fact. “Boss, MSF is an international organization. Soldiers from all over the world have come here to fight. As such, we can’t favor the practices of any one religion. If we officially acknowledge one particular religious holiday, pretty soon we’ll have to start acknowledging all of them and-“ 

Snake slammed his fist onto the table. “Damnit Kaz, we don’t have time! It’s less than a week until Christmas day and our preparations for Santa’s arrival are completely inadequate!” Kaz blinked. “Wh-what?” Snake began pacing the room. “This whole Peace Walker thing took us all by surprise, and we’re way behind schedule. We don’t have any lights up. Kaz, how’s he supposed to find us all the way out here in the Caribbean?” Kaz had to stifle a laugh. He thought he knew Snake well enough to know when he was joking, but this was priceless. “Good one Boss. Now, what’s really on your mind?” Snake frowned. “What’s on my mind is that we have zero chimneys for him to come down, and even worse we have no trees for him to put the presents under. We’re an unorthodox kind of army, but do you really think Santa will make an exception? I’ve asked the Intel team to patch us into NORAD so we can track his sleigh, but so far, all attempts to contact the North Pole have failed. How are we going to get our Christmas lists to him? We don’t exactly have a P.O. box.” 

Kaz smiled, and jokingly offered “You should probably put Cecile on kitchen duty. I’m sure she could bake some cookies for him.” Snake stopped his pacing and spun around to face Kaz with such speed the other man jumped. “My God you’re right! I didn’t even think to offer him cookies or milk, and all we have right now our MREs. What are we going to do Kaz? What are going TO DO!?” The smile left Kaz’s face and his heart leapt into his throat as he realized “Sweet Jesus, he’s not joking. I think- I think the Boss really believes…” Kaz had to take a seat and, grim faced, watched his Boss continue to have a meltdown. He tried to maintain his grasp of the situation “Boss, you don’t really believe…I mean, you don’t actually think that Santa Claus is…”  
Snake grabbed Kaz by the shoulders and pulled him close, close enough that Kaz could see his furrowed brow glistening with sweat “What? I don’t believe that Santa would abandon us? I don’t actually think that he would skip us this year? Of course not. We’re not exactly heroes, but having thwarted Coldman’s plans, killed Zadornov, and destroyed Peace Walker that HAS to put us somewhere on the Nice List. Well, maybe not killing Zadornov…”Kaz broke his Bosses hold and looked at Snake incredulously, “Boss, you don’t really think that Santa’s real do you?” It was Snake’s turn to raise an eyebrow at Kaz. “What are you talking about Kaz? Of course I think he’s real.” Snake narrowed his eye and tilted his head. “Have you been talking to Huey?” 

Kaz ran his hand over his face and thought to himself “Get a grip Kaz, the Boss has clearly had some kind of mental break with reality. He’s trying to find some kind of comfort in childish fantasies. He HAS been under a lot of stress lately-you have to talk him out of it.” Kaz stood up and began pleading with his hands. “Boss. I know things have been…a little crazy around here. I guess, I guess that’s sort of my fault. Listen, how could Santa Claus be real?” Snake scoffed. “He always brings me exactly what I want, every year. Well, not always. Ever since the day I killed the Boss, with my own hands, I was put on the Naughty List. But this year, this year’s going to be different!” Snake lunged towards Kaz, seizing his face in his hands with enthusiasm. “Saving the world from Peace Walker, it’s my chance to redeem myself! Santa will HAVE to bring me something this year! Kaz, I can’t lose this chance. There’s only person I can trust to get this base ready in time for Santa.” He stared deeply into Kaz’s eyes, and Kaz could feel his tiny heart flutter under the sincerity of Snake’s gaze. “I need you on this.”  
***  
There were so many things to do in the day to day operations of an organization the size of MSF, and now Kaz had the additional burden of trying to make the place seem festive and merry. Growing up in Japan, he wasn’t exactly raised to believe in the Nativity and all that. Japan was a pretty secular nation, yet even the Japanese knew about Santa Claus. Many cultures all over the world had some variation of Santa, so he figured that nobody could find Santa imagery offensive. He paused on deck briefly to go over the checklist he was hastily compiling. He had just finished talking to R&D about the logistics of stringing lights all around Mother Base- how many feet of lights they would need, if they could generate enough electricity to power both the main base lights as well as the additional lights. He found it hard to waste valuable time on such a silly thing as Christmas, and business related thoughts kept intruding into his mind. “Damnit, that was such a stupid idea ordering all those MSF coffee mugs. I really thought those things were going to sell, great way to advertise our business, get our name out there.” 

Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Chico staring at him quizzically “Commander Miller, what are you doing? Can I help?!” Kaz sighed. He couldn’t believe what he was about to tell the boy. “Hi Chico, I’m-I’m getting Mother Base ready for…for Santa Claus.” Chico gave him a look. “Who?” Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose in a mix of frustration and embarrassment. “Santa. You know- ‘Ho ho ho!’” Chico’s face lit up. “OH! You mean Papa Noel! You really think he’s coming here?!” Kaz gulped. “Oh shit,” he thought to himself, “not Chico too. What am I going to do?” Kaz didn’t want to let Snake down, but he especially didn’t want to disappoint Chico. Before he could think of a response there was Snake, clapping Chico on the back heartily. “Absolutely Chico! When Kaz gets finished with this place, there’s no way Santa will miss us!” Chico’s face suddenly sank. “Yeah, I guess. But, Papa Noel’s never stopped before. Snake…do you think I’m on the Naughty List?” Snake laughed what might have been a very dry, gruff, and scary Santa impression. “No way. He probably just couldn’t find you and the Sandanistas under the jungle canopy.” This seemed to cheer Chico up, and with how upset the boy had been over everything that had happened with Paz recently, Kaz decided to let Chico have this. “You’re right Snake! Wow, he really does exist! Amanda told me he wasn’t real, but she doesn’t believe in UMAs either.” Snake nodded. “Faith is a hard thing to come by these days. Hey, Chico, make sure you have your Christmas list ready in time. We’re going to broadcast everyone’s Christmas list directly to the North Pole. I was actually just on my way to make the announcement to the whole base. Anyway, just make sure you tell Santa what you want this year.” Chico grinned. “Oh, that’s easy. I want a Sony Walkman, just like the one that Zadornov had!” 

Kaz sputtered “Wh-what?! Wait a minute, what do you mean everyone’s list? You mean, everyone on base?” Snake nodded. “Of course Kaz. Everyone on this base has worked so hard this year, I’m sure Santa’s noticed.” Kaz felt his heart sinking. “And you really think that-everyone on board-is going to get exactly what they ask Santa for?” Snake grinned. “He IS Santa Claus, Kaz. Don’t insult the man.” Kaz rubbed his temples, feeling a headache beginning to form. This was becoming much more complicated than he had anticipated. How the hell was he going to pull this off? He jotted down some extra notes, before taking off in the direction of the Mess Hall.  
***  
Kaz stood before Amanda and Cecile, red faced, having just revealed what he was now dubbing Operation: Secret Santa. He looked at Cecile’s unreadable face and Amanda, who was cradling her head in her hand. “God,” he thought to himself, “I’m never getting laid after this.” When then, Cecile burst into joyous laughter. “Monsieur Miller, that is a wonderful idea! I never took you to be someone so…festive!” Kaz grinned nervously, flashing his winning smile “Well, you know me. The life of the party. But I can’t really take all the credit, it was Snake’s idea. He’s really got his heart set on it.” Amanda crossed her arms. “What, did you two have a little tiff and you’re trying to get back together?” Kaz threw his hands up. “No, no, it’s not like that!” Cecile giggled. “I think it’s wonderful that Commander Miller cares so much for Snake!” Kaz sighed. “Well, there goes my last chance,” he thought to himself. Now he had to tell them the truth about Operation: Secret Santa. 

“Look, Snake, he…he really believes in Santa Claus.” Cecile nodded. “As do I, Monsieur Miller.” Kaz’s jaw dropped. “What?! Not you too.” Cecile shrugged. “Well, not so much Pére Noél, but the spirit of giving he exemplifies. I think that is something we should all believe in, don’t you Monsieur Miller?” Kaz sighed. “No, you don’t get it. He…I mean, he REALLY believes in Santa Claus.” Amanda raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” 

“He really believes that Santa is coming, and he’s got Chico believing it, too. They’re sending out messages to Norad.” Amanda looked furious. “He what?! Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how long it took me to convince him that Papa Noel wasn’t real? Do you know how many times I had to explain to his sad little face why Papa Noel wasn’t going to come visit a band of guerillas in the jungle? How could Snake believe in such a thing?” Kaz threw his hands up defensively. “Look, I don’t know. I thought he was joking, but it looks like he’s serious. He really wants to do this. That’s why I need you two…” Kaz took in a deep breath “to be my Santa’s elves.” 

Cecile’s face lit up, while Amanda scowled even further. “What do you mean, Santa’s elves?” Kaz began to sweat. “I need elves, to bake the cookies. Snake told me to make sure we had cookies and milk for Santa.” Cecile jumped. “Oh, Monsieur Miller, I’m so excited! I’ll begin right away to make some Macaroons!” Cecile ran off to gather baking supplies, while Amanda loomed over him and Kaz knew he had to say something to save his ass. “Hey, I get it. This is silly, and maybe you don’t want to do this for the Boss. I understand that. But if you had been there, if you could’ve seen Chico’s face- that’s the first genuine smile I’ve seen from him in weeks when he heard that Santa was coming.” Amanda backed down, looking thoughtful for a minute. Finally, she closed her eyes and huffed, nodding in resignation “Fine. I’ll do it for Chico. But when Papa Noel doesn’t come next year, you’ll be the one to explain why!”  
***  
After leaving his elves to do the baking, Kaz checked his list and decided to pay a visit to Huey and Strangelove. He sighed, and began to think exactly how he was going to explain this to them. Checking his watch, he realized with annoyance this whole Santa business was eating up so much of his time he probably wasn’t going to get much sleep that night. Well, at least one of those MSF coffee mugs was going to get some use. 

Entering the joint lab of Huey and Strangelove, he put on the most merry smile he could before launching into the best Operation: Secret Santa briefing he could deliver. As expected, it went over even worse than with Amanda. Huey burst into laughter, while Strangelove glared sourly. “Are you serious? This is the man the Boss entrusted her will too?” Kaz hung his head. “I know it sounds crazy. I think he’s just been through a lot recently and-he needs this, you know?” Huey wiped away a tear. “So where do we fit in?” Kaz blushed as he handed Huey a schematic; well, not a schematic so much as a crudely drawn picture from Snake. “I know this is a little…out of your field, but you’re the only ones I can turn to. We don’t exactly have soil, so I need you two to build an Xmas tree. The Boss…drew a tree for your reference.” Huey once more erupted into a fit of laughter as Strangelove snatched the picture out of his hands. She stared at it, before returning her gaze to Kaz scowling “This is preposterous. It’s-it’s nothing more than a doodle of a tree with tinsel and lights.” Kaz shrugged. “Come on, I really need your help on this. There’s no other way we’re going to get a Christmas tree out here and Snake will never forgive me if we don’t have one.” 

Strangelove made an annoyed sound. “I see, so the boy toy is trying to get back into his Boss’s good graces, is that what this is all about?” Kaz frowned and began to sweat. “No! No, that’s not it! Look, I’m just trying to do something nice for everyone. Snake’s been going around telling everybody about this and the whole base loves the idea. They’re all making up wish lists to broadcast to Santa, pitching in to help decorate, it’s really boosted morale. After everything that’s happened recently, I think we all could use…some…holiday cheer.” Strangelove seemed to consider before turning to Huey, who said “Well, it does sound like a lot of fun. I’m sure we could come up with something, right?” Strangelove reached into her pocket, brought out her tobacco case and took some snuff. “Alright. I’ll do it. This should prove, at the very least, interesting.” Kaz sighed with relief as the two of them began digging through bins of scrap metal. Thanking them, he left for his office. With all of the major details taken care of, he could finally get back to his real work. On the way back to his office, he was greeted by two MSF soldiers. “Commander Miller! Everything looks great, we’re so excited for Christmas! Thank you, sir!” Kaz held up a hand “Hold on, this is a nondenominational party. It’s just Santa, alright?” The two laughed and saluted. “It’s nice to have some holiday cheer. What a great idea Commander Miller!” As he continued to his office, Kaz grinned and thought to himself “Maybe this whole Santa thing isn’t so bad after all.”  
***  
Kaz worked all through the night balancing MSF’s budget, finally finishing after three pots of coffee at 2 in the morning. He rubbed his bleary eyes and leaned back in his chair. Between Christmas and budget constraints and Snake getting everyone hyped up on Santa, this Commander was thoroughly worn out. He kept telling himself he needed to lie down and rest, but he was too tired to even move and fell asleep at his desk, his list clutched tight in his hand. At the bottom of that list, circled three times in bright red, was the one thing he had yet to check off- the gifts.  
It was a loud banging at his door that awoke Kaz, his head felt groggy and all he could think about was how bad he needed to brush his teeth. He straightened up in his chair and called for whomever it was to come in. He checked his watch- 12:00 PM- and nearly fell out of his chair in shock. In burst Big Boss, pausing to look over his rumpled XO, a look of concern flashing across his face. “Kaz, are you just waking up?” Kaz wiped his mouth, absent mindedly took a sip from his mug, and had to choke down the cold, stale coffee. “Uh, it was a-late night, Boss.” Snake grinned before sitting down, propping his feet on Kaz’s desk. Kaz slid the stack of papers from under the Boss’s dirty boots. “Well, you have been working pretty hard. The base looks great.”  
“Well, I’m glad you appreciate it” he replied, flashing Snake a weak smile before resting his head in his arms. Snake continued “Everybody’s sent their Christmas lists. Now all we have to do is wait for Santa to bring the gifts.” Kaz’s head shot up from the desk, a look of absolute panic on his face. “Oh shit!” he thought to himself, “Gifts! Santa brings gifts! We don’t have any gifts, that’s the one thing I forgot!” Snake leaned forward. “Kaz, you sure you’re feeling okay? Maybe you should take some time off, get into the spirit of things.” Kaz’s mind raced. He had to think of a plan, but he couldn’t think with the Boss breathing down his neck all the time. Frantically he searched through the papers on his desk looking for something, anything, to get rid of Snake. Finally, he found a job. “Boss, uh, I just remembered, there’s a very important mission I need you to take care of in…” he checked the mission file again “Angola. Hot bed of activity, only you can pull it off.” Snake took the file from him frowning. “What kind of mission? Can’t it wait?” Kaz shook his head. “No can do Boss. Some rebels are fighting a war of independence against some government. Yeah, and the- the uh, government forces have offered us a contract to train the border patrol.” Snake looked serious. “Kaz, it’s Christmas Eve. I don’t think I’d be back in time for Santa. This will have to wait.” 

“Why don’t you just drop in, talk to some of the soldiers, see what we can do, and by the time you come back it will be Santa time! Besides, he uh-he doesn’t come if you wait up for him, right?” Snake paused to consider. “Hmm, maybe you’re right. I guess if I get going now I can probably be back later tonight.” Kaz leapt out of his chair and shook Snake’s hand. “That’s why you’re the best, Boss!” He led him to the door “Now you go get on that chopper, and you make Santa proud!” Snake flashed him a smile as he left, and Kaz slammed the door shut behind him locking it. The sweat on his brow felt cold and sticky. “Shit shit shit shit, what the hell do I get everyone? I don’t even know what they want!”  
He tore through the reports on his desk, looking for the transcripts of the messages to Norad. Finally finding the lists, he frantically flipped through them eyes scanning the pages. Why were these all specific? There’s no way he could even get R&D to make any of these, there simply wasn’t enough time. “I can’t afford any of this!” He rested his head in his hands and slumped back into his chair. What had he gotten himself into? If Santa didn’t deliver this year, the Boss would probably blame him; the men would never respect him again, probably call him Kazuhira “Miser” Miller, the man who ruined Christmas…and every other holiday. What about Chico? What about Amanda? If he ruined Christmas for Chico, Amanda would want him dead, and there was a very good chance the Boss wouldn’t save him this time, hell, the Boss might kill him first!  
“I need a drink, I need something!” He began to brew a fresh pot of coffee, and picking up his mug to wash it out he stopped. He stared at it, and then he had an idea. He had an awful, brilliant, budget-friendly idea.  
***  
Alone in one of the warerooms, Kaz locked himself in, just him and hundreds of boxes of MSF brand mugs. Hundreds of boxes of mugs and several long rolls of cheap, brown packaging paper. “Well, this will have to do.” He started the arduous task of wrapping each individual box. He’d have to work fast, faster and harder than he ever had before. No back up this time, this was a solo sneaky mission. In less than 12 hours it would be Christmas Day, the Boss would be back, and everyone would be expecting Santa.  
***  
“349, 350, annnnnd 351. That’s 351 wrapped, and I’m done,” he said to himself, exhausted. He checked his watch. 5:00 PM. God, that had taken a REALLY long time. Longer than he had expected. The Boss would probably be back in a few short hours, and he still needed to check if the tree was up, and whether or not he could get the presents under the tree in time. For a moment, he contemplated having Huey activate ZEKE and use that to move the presents under the tree. He imagined the panic that would probably ensue with ZEKE being active again, and decided against it. He’d just have to move every single one by himself. Maybe he should get the tree in order first. Yeah, that’d be good. He stood, cracked his back. God he was tired, but he wasn’t done yet. He left to check on Huey and Strangelove’s progress, praying that Snake might be a little delayed. 

As he walked as briskly as his exhaustion would allow, it was starting to get dark and he could see the glow of the lights sparkling around the base. He had to admit, it did look very pretty. Coming up on the R&D platform, he stopped short, eyes wide in horror at the twisted monstrosity of metal standing before him. If he squinted he could, maybe, make out the shape of a tree. Huey rolled up beside him. “What’d you think?” He asked hopefully, unable to miss the look of shock and disappointment on Kaz’s face. “What the hell is that? You call this thing a tree?” Huey stuttered, but Strangelove stepped up annoyed. “For someone who dropped a project into our laps with few materials and even less instruction, you do seem to be expecting a lot.” Kaz stammered. “I was expecting something that looked like a tree!” Strangelove smirked “And that’s what you got-something that LOOKS like a tree.” Kaz removed his glasses, running his hand down his face. “I mean, maybe, if you’re really generous with what a tree looks like. Whatever, it’ll have to do. So, how the hell do we get this to the Command Platform?” Huey looked at Strangelove. “Well, uh, we could use ZEKE.” Kaz shot that idea down real quick. “No. Anything else?” 

Strangelove thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it. We used some of the parts from the old AI pods to build the base. Naturally, those pods had a rocket propulsion system for ejection. With a few minor adjustments, it’s possible we could launch it from here to land on the platform.” Kaz waited for the punchline, and when it didn’t come he looked to Huey for confirmation. Huey was typing furiously on his wheelchair computer. “Yes, yes, that could work. Let me just figure out the optimal launch trajectory.” Kaz sighed deeply, glanced at his watch, and noted that it was almost 6. He still needed to check on the cookies, and actually get the presents underneath the tree. “You know what? If you two think it will work, do what you have to do.”  
***  
As Kaz stepped inside the kitchen, Cecile was running about covered head to toe in flour. Catching his eye, she stopped, beaming “Monsieur Miller, the cookies, they are ready!” Kaz looked around, and all he could see were trays and trays of cookies, hundreds of cookies. Amanda passed carrying a tray. “She went a little overboard with the cookies.” Kaz feigned a smile. “Well, there’s 351 one of us- 352 if you count Santa, right?” His attempt at a joke actually made Amanda smile. Cecile laughed and handed Kaz one of the cookies. Biting into it, his face lit up. “Hey, these are really good! You two have done a great job. I better make sure Santa doesn’t try to steal you elves away to the North Pole!” Laughing, Amanda punched him in the arm, a little harder than was probably necessary. Pretending it didn’t hurt, Miller grabbed a cookie for the road and headed back to the Command Platform. As he paused to take in the cool night air, he thought to himself “Wow, this might work after all.”  
Just then, there was an immense gust of heat and a loud explosion. For a second, he thought maybe they were under attack, but as he squinted in the night he could make out the mangled remains of what was supposed to be their tree. “WHAT is happening NOW!” he thought to himself as he ran over to the wreckage. A jeep pulled up, and Strangelove got out. She approached Kaz. “I thought you said this would work?” he demanded. She shrugged “I theorized, Commander.” She looked the tree over. “Hmm, not as well as I’d hoped. It did get here, though.” Kaz sucked in deeply, counted to ten in his mind, and remembered that he was the XO, and damn it, he was going to act like it. “You know what, it’s fine. It’s fine. Just, work on the presentation for me. I have to go get the presents.” Strangelove chuckled. “Oh you bought presents, did you? That’s a shock.” Her clipped British accent was trying his patience, and he had to go. He jumped in the jeep and ordered the driver to take him to the Distribution Platform. While he was at it, he had better call for several supply trucks, or else risk multiple trips.  
***  
It took several of the supply trucks, five guys, and Miller, to pack up all the presents and bring them back to the tree. The tree had been roughly hammered back into place, and didn’t look quite as bad anymore, which relieved Kaz at least a little. He decided to wait for Snake to come back and greet him at the Helipad. In about half an hour he could hear the sound of the Boss’s chopper touching down. He steeled himself, and tried to have the calmest, most carefree demeanor he could muster. “Welcome back Boss!” Snake exited the chopper and strode over to Kaz. “How’d the mission go?” Snake waved it off “Eh, it’s fine. How’s everything for Santa? Are we ready?” Kaz grinned nervously. “Oh yeah, we’re uh, all ready.” Snake grinned from ear-to-ear. “Perfect! Well Kaz, lead the way.” Piling into the jeep, they drove to the Command Platform, the Boss looking delighted at the festivities. “The men worked really hard to get the base all ready. They’re really looking forward to tonight Boss.” Snake placed a large, firm hand on Kaz’s shoulder. “Well we all have you to thank for that, Kaz.” Was he trembling? Kaz wasn’t sure. “Oh, don’t thank me just yet Boss.” 

The jeep pulled up to holiday central; the “tree” was all lit up, illuminating the hundreds of presents beneath. The soldiers had already started to drink and make merry, enjoying the delicious cookies and beer. Snake approached, and looked the spread over. Chico ran up to greet him. “Snake! Can you believe it? This is going to be perfect for Papa Noel!” Snake nodded and grinned. “I know. This is going to be the BEST Christmas ever!” Kaz handed Snake one of the presents from beneath the tree, figuring he might as well get this over with. “Happy holidays Boss! This one’s for you. Go ahead, open it. It’s from Santa.” Snake took the box and grinned. “Ah Kaz, you’re such a kidder. Everyone knows that Santa only comes at midnight. If these presents are already here, they’re clearly from you. But thanks anyway, it’s good to see you’ve finally found your Christmas spirit.” 

Kaz crumpled into a chair, watching his Boss tear open the gift. Big Boss held the mug in his giant mitt. “Hmm, a mug. This is great! Perfect for drinking hot cocoa while we wait for Santa. Thanks Kaz!” Kaz felt the color drain from his face and his heart sank into his stomach. “No problem Boss” he weakly replied. He grabbed one of the glasses of eggnog and swiped a bottle of rum, which he began chugging. Maybe if he could get blackout drunk, he wouldn’t be conscious enough to see the disappointment on Snake’s face when Santa didn’t show up. Suddenly, a guitar was thrust into his hands. “Come on Kaz, let’s hear some Christmas carols while we wait for Santa.” Kaz feebly took the guitar and protested “We’re not celebrating Christmas Boss, we’re a secular organization. This is just a holiday celebration.” Snake completely ignored him “Oh! Oh! I’ve got one! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer….”Resigned to his fate, Kaz began to strum along, and pretty soon the whole base was singing.  
***  
Catching a lull between songs, Kaz took the time to check his watch. “Oh my god,” he thought to himself, “It’s 11:50!” Being forced to play song after song, he hadn’t even been able to down a single drink. He was about ready to panic when Snake draped a heavy arm over his shoulders. He looked at his XO, his eye clear and bright despite the several cups of spiked cocoa Kaz had caught him downing. Kaz felt his heart jump as Big Boss started talking “Kaz, I know that this put a lot of stress on you, and I know we’ve been through a lot these past few weeks. I just wanted to say thanks for putting this all together. Nobody but you could have pulled this off. Just look at the men. Everybody’s happy. When was the last time we could say that, huh?” He nudged Kaz playfully in the side, and Kaz took the moment to actually look around for the first time that night. What he saw could only be described as holiday cheer; the MSF soldiers laughing and clinking their newly acquired MSF mugs, sharing stories of holidays back home, of holidays they used to share with the families they had left behind to follow Big Boss. He saw Chico trying to steal more cookies before being swatted away by Amanda, who then grabbed him into a hug. He even saw Huey and Strangelove smiling, laughing, and seeming to enjoy one another’s company- that is, until Huey waved around some mistletoe which drove Strangelove to seek out Cecile’s company instead. He found himself realizing that, even if Santa didn’t come tonight, maybe he hadn’t ruined Christmas for everyone else. Then, he looked over and saw the Boss. He saw the innocent, boyish twinkle in his eye. Even if Christmas wasn’t ruined for everyone else, he knew that Big Boss would be heartbroken when Santa didn’t show. He grappled with himself. He had to tell him, he had to tell him the truth before midnight struck and nothing happened. He couldn’t keep lying to the Boss, not anymore. He couldn’t let him be crushed like this. He reached for Snake’s hand, and grasping it firmly, he pulled himself close. Snake turned to look at him. 

“Boss, I have to tell you something.” But before he could say anything, he heard Chico exclaim “What is THAT?!” Snake looked away, his gaze following Chico’s pointed finger. Kaz squinted behind his sunglasses, before removing them for a clearer view. “What the hell is THAT?!” he exclaimed. It couldn’t be. It was impossible. There, gently floating down to the base from the night sky, attached to a Fulton balloon, was an impeccably wrapped green and gold present. It gently landed on the platform, and everyone gathered around staring. A voice called out “It’s for Chico!” The boy pushed his way to the front of the crowd. He lifted up the package, before turning to gaze at Amanda. Amanda shrugged. Eagerly, he ripped through the wrapping paper and opened the gift. His eyes lit up and he jumped up and down in excitement. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! It’s just what I wanted! It’s my Sony Walkman!” 

Kaz stared, mouth agape. He watched as, slowly, more presents floated down into view. Dozens of them. Hundreds of them. The whole base erupted in pure joy. Kaz couldn’t believe it. Where the hell were they coming from? Everyone scrambled to pick up the presents, and calling for who they belonged to. It was a chaotic mess of name calling and gift exchanging. Smiles and laughter, magic itself, filled the air. As he stood there stunned, Big Boss approached him bearing a gift. “This one’s for you, Kaz. I didn’t know you sent a letter to Santa.” Kaz stammered “I-I didn’t.” Big Boss smiled, and handed Kaz the present. “You must be extra lucky then.” Taking the present, Kaz watched while Snake unwrapped his own. Snake grinned, pulling out a pack of H. Uppman cigars. “Just what I wanted. Thanks Santa!” Delighted, Snake lit one up and inhaled the thick smoke deeply. “Ah, much better than the cheap shit you’ve been buying. Oh, Kaz, weren’t you going to tell me something?” 

Kaz was still struggling to come to terms with the situation, and could only mumble “Er, ah…Merry Christmas Boss.” He grinned at Snake with a big toothy smile. Big Boss nodded, grinning and puffing on his cigar, before leaving to spend time with the other soldiers. Now alone, Kaz turned his attention to the box in his hands. As he prepared to unwrap it, he noticed a little note attached. It said “My organization has eyes and ears everywhere. Merry Christmas, Kazuhira Miller.” It was signed only with a Ø. Kaz felt panic rise in his throat at the message, then, calming himself down, he smirked. “Well played old man. Well played.” He opened up the box and gently lifted out a designer pair of J.F. Rey sunglasses. He slipped off his older pair, and put these ones on. “Well, Merry Christmas Kaz,” he thought to himself, as he walked into the twinkling lights to join the party.

**Author's Note:**

> Kaz tried his best, he really did. So how exactly did Cipher know what everyone wanted? Easy. Thanks to Kaz, they constantly spy on the base. Well, broadcasting everyone's Christmas list didn't help. Zero's a dick, but a festive dick. Happy Holidays everyone!


End file.
